Alone Time

Feels like so much have happened this last couple of weeks. And still it feels like no time has past at all.
A new year has come and it was probablyt the best new years yet. I had such a blast and after that the new year has really introduced me into alot of new things.

I feel that I really have been addicted to yoga. If I dont have my 2 sessions a week my entire body just gets this urges to stretch out and I kind of get a little tingeling feeling in all my muscles.
And from being alone alot I suddenly am surrounded by all these beautiful and wonderful people that I just love spending time with. So I have really forgotten myself alot for some time.
And I'm so happy to know myself that well I can feel the warning signs of when I really need to be alone.
I start feeling kind of down and I can't really focus as good as I usually do on things.

Since my mind is not thinking constantly about things my alone time is so precious for me to process things and really feel in all the inprecions I've had and the things I have experienced. If I dont do that it gonna go doooooown.
But tonight I have a sweet alone night and I have had time to do some uploading of pictures to facebook, listen to music and just be by myself.

This weekend we where 6 people who was suppose to go to Ao Nang close to Krabi for climbing. It ended with that 2 people didn't have the time, and 2 others "got stuck" on Phi Phi. So It was just me and Mark, but we had such a good time.
Ao Nang was a really tourity place and I wont go there again, but the second day we went to Railay Beach, where you take about just around a couple of mountains and we hit pure paradise.
The feeling of that entire little place was just pure magic. The beaches and the mountains, the bars, the people. Everything was just so magical.
Saturday night we just totally hammered and we had a wonderful caotic and fun night. Alot of dancing drinking, looking at the beautiful sea and walking around. It was fantastic.
The day after we got up hungover and did some amazing hours of rock climbing.
I really missed outside climbing so much. The adrenalinerush and the feeling of achievement when you finish a climb is just so fantastic.
We also had a coffe at a café that was just next to the climbing place and that coffe was probably the best coffe I've had. It was made with so much love and peace. Wow.
We spent the rest of the day on the beach and went home by ferry. I love travelling by boat, because the time just flys by and you just lie there with the wind and the water and let the waves rock you to sleep.

I'm not sure about training muay thai thou. I am not that stressed about it anymore, and I feel much more motivated since Mark is going to have a fight and it kind of gets me going knowing that I can be there and support him during and after training.
I'm also gonna do the filming of the fight so that's gonna be real cool.

I'm in on my last 4 weeks of school as well. And the new books we got are really fun!
I didn't feel like going to school at all today, but when I got there and had my new teachers and the new books my brain just got kickstarted and I went crazy on the writing and talking.
I felt really confident and I hope I'm gonna do well on the test at the end of these weeks.
You can't really fail the test thou you just get a grade after how well you have learn Thai these weeks you have been studying. I'm really excited.

And so far the plan when school finish is like this:
Go back to Railay beach for atleast a week of rockclimbing and then go to Chang Mai to visit a Buddist temple and spend a week in there and doing munk/nun stuff. I'm real excited about that too.
My friend Julia is hopfully gonna be in Istanbul at that time and I'm hoping to find a ticket there and back really cheap to meet her up just because I've missed her so much.
I wanted to maybe go to new zeeland or australia, but I don't think I will have the time unfortunatly.
Maybe a quick trip to burma or malaysia or some closelying country instead. I don't know.

I'm gonna end this post with a awesome pic of me climbiiiiing wooooo!

Love and kissed to all of you.
XOXOXO

Roar

Hey there.

It feels like I've had a couple of intesive weeks. But when I try to remember them I can't figure out want I've done.

Last week I went to Bangkok and picked up Jimmy and we spent a night in Bangkok. The city itself didn't give me much moore then I expected from it. In other words: nothing. It's big, chaotic and smells of trash and broken dreams.
BUT none the less did I have a fantastic time with the boy of my dreams. We spent the most of our time in our room. We did get out to get water and food thou. Those 24 hours where filled with laughter, tears, happiness and a small deathwish from time to time. So all in all, absolutley wonderfull. <3

Did some unnessesary shopping there aswell. Got myself some new tunnels for my ears. Fucking awesome.
Haven't found any of those here in phuket. So I ignored my ego an told myself its worth it.

The social structure of this way of living still continues to fascinate me. I get the feeling that its pretty common for people to kind of "know everybody" but not having any real close friends. And that would break me down. So I guess that's why I'm so attracted to the people I really like here. I need that feeling of closeness and connection to someone. I guess and hope we all do.

Talking about connection. Connected to my teachers really well the last week. One of them by just talking alot and he gave me lots of wonderful tips about music, places to go and where to do my hair and everything. I gave him cake as a christmas present. 

And The otherway by just listening to my other teacher, and the last day of school she kind of broke down. She talked about her marriage and that she wasn't happy with that even thou she is a wonderful happy person all the other time. So I talked a little bit out of experience when it comes to putting yourself first and how important your partner is to you well being if you are a strong and outgoing person. It was nice, even thou I was sad for here it was kind of awkvard but still gave me a open feeling. Because most of the time when she talks she just talks about everything and nothing, but today it was feelings and I hope I could help.
Haha, this would so not happen in any other place I know of. I love it.

Me and Jimmy haven't been doing much really. Had a wresteling competition in my bed. Sadly he won by 2-1 but my ONE was a choke out. I am very pleased with myself. We have done alot of training aswell and eating alot of food. And that's mostly what we have done. And btw, we both got ourself a The Deathly Hallows tank top. I'm gonna make that symbol a tattoo on my wrist. Fuck yeah, Harry Potter fan for life.

I was also sore for the first time comming here. We did a workout at Unit 27, it was fucking amazing. We maybe where not that fast I would have liked us to be, but hey. My entire body was sore the day after so I was happy. I can ALMOST climb a rope. 

This saturday we went to see a fight with the headtrainer of my gym (Top Team). It was his first fight in 4 years and he fucking OWNED THAT RING! It was amazing, he was amazing and we where all so nervous and excitied about this fight. I'm so happy for going there. It was a real experience.
The night ended with getting lost thou and the headache from hell. So we just went home and hit the sack.
But I was so happy because al my favorite people where there, and I am so happy to have met them all.
These mamories will keep my happy for a long time <3 (I'm sorry for the picture guys but you looked to amazing to not show the world)

And tomorrow it's new years. I think we are gonna go to the kata beach party. And we still have to figure out if we are gonna go to Ao Nang or not for a night. Hm. Well I guess it will all come to a nice answer whenever.

Oh btw. Tonight I had a dream about Spiderman. It was fucking amazing. Amazing Spiderman. Oh man. What I wouldn't do to just have that man one night all for myself. Wrar.

Oh well! Cya later! <3

I See Fire

Wasssssuuuup.. Yeah.
I have actually come to many insights on my stay here. I though it would be mostly about training when I got here, but since I started school it has been so much moore. I haven't been able to just focus on training.
Alot of the people I have met here, have been very forward and outgoing,  good crazy and sometimes bad crazy. I sometimes actually feel normal compared to them. I have felt like the quiet one.
And I have really been forced to practice the listening side of myself. Because I'm usually the one that talks all the fucking time and takes up alot of space. (As many of you know..)
And I am very curious of what this change in my own behavior comes from. And I am yet to find out.
I'm quite exicted! I love finding new sides of myself.

Every week and day is almost the same, and I really enjoy my daily routine. Training, eating and going to school. And talking to Jimmy. Nom. <3
Since I've come here, me and Jimmy have been able to talk by Skype or Viber every day. And if we hadn't done that I don't think I would have been able to feel this good as I do now. I probably would have felt more alone. Or I would have been "forced" to talk more to people. And maybe some think that's a bad thing, but for me I think I has been good for me.
I really like my alone time I have here. The calm and quiet times I get to spend with just myself.

One of my favorite realisations is one I'm a little bit ashamed of.
That the people here as just like everywhere else, and also in many ways diffrent. But still the same. They have the same behaviours and habits and feelings as the people I know back in Sweden.
It's so easy to get a twisted picture of Thais when you just have been travellering around and never really gotten to know them but just seen them as someone who's just trying to get you to buy some junk you don't need, or chasing you to get you to take a taxi, or giving you a massage, or serving you a drink at the bar. Just because you can't talk to them as fluently as you can with people back home.
That language berrier is a good reason I've had this picture. And maybe no real intrest in getting to know them.
 But during the time here I really like the people I have gotten to know, I love to hear their storys about their lives and how they have gotten to the point in their life they are today. Life is truly awesome <3

And the summary of this realisation is that I really love people. I love them for their goodness that's in their heart and their beauty. All people are truly amazing. Even the struggling onces.
I get to test my patient with the people who I don't understand and realise that they are just people who's had things in their lives that maybe I havn't and made themself who they are because that's the way they thought was right or the only way. And that's allright aswell. This comes to all people, all over the world.

Wow. This got to be a really serious post. But I felt serious today I guess.
So here is a picture of a coconut! Fresh coconutmeat look a lot like semen if you scrap it together.
 Just so you know. <3

XXX
Johanna

Another Weekend has begun.

This week has been like any other week kind of. And still not.
I've been on the "phone" alot.  Talked to my father this monday and my sister on wensday, and my friend Lowä aswell. So it's been a real nice, calm catching up week.
I also tried wresteling for the first time! Or BJJ without the pyjamas (aka Gee) and eventhou it wasn't that beginnerfriendly It was fun. So I'm gonna try it out again next week :)

Talked to my sister alot about traveling and how we pretty much are the same when the comes to alot of things we feel and think during travelling.
I've had the feeling of beeing quite boring during this trip since I don't wanna go with like this big bunch of people doin diffrent things during the weekdays.

1. I dont wanna drive drunk, and I dont want anybody else that has been drinking driving me home.
2. I dont really feel like gettinf wasted during weekdays in the first place.
3. I don't wanna waste money on things I can save for food and training.
4. I dont like hangig out with lager groups of people, I find it very stressfull. Mostly because its hard to keep the group together and everything just takes suuuuuuuuuuuch a loooooong tiiiiiiiime. Just to get going someplace always takes like an hour. Bah.
5. If I'm not in the mood for partying or being really social, I will just feel even moore terrible and boring.

So. Yeah. But I have been talkning to myself and some other of my friends that I don't have to be like everybody else here. I am here for my own reason and only mine. I don't need to do what everybody else is doing. I dont have to like everybody. And it is a nice feeling that my life is my life and I don't need to be ashamed of the choices I do for myself.
I guess it just hits the selfimage I have of myself as a really funny person. It's just a diffrent kind of a social schene than home :)

I'm real proud over putting alot of food n my fridge this week as well! Bread, yoghurt, peanutbutter, fruit and veggies, soymilk and juice. I love making breakfast for myself in the morning. We also have free coffe next to the tatto artist Jane that kind of is a part of our hostel resort. The coffee is acctually the only thing we have "included" here. Haha. But I like it. I like the roughness of this place.
I like that I have to save napkins, plastic spoons and forks for later use. That I only have one plastic cup I can use, and what I have for cooking is a microwave and a waterboiler.

The only thing I miss is something to put up on the wall. So I think I will try to find a nice poster or something to hang next to my bed to feel moore at home. I really like my room though!

One friend I'm really happy to have made here is Helen. And it was just the kind of friend I was looking for. Calm, funny, nice and energetic! That I don't feel stressed about being funny or anything when I'm with her, I feel cool not talking sometimes and that's allright. That we usualy just meet to have dinner or go to the beach and just be. She is so wonderful and a fantastic fighter. She has a Muay Thai fight tomorrow and I am  gonna be there screaming my fucking lungs out and probably cry alot. And I'm going to be so proud and happy for her whatever happens. Because the way she fights, for all things, she is a fucking winner whatever happens.

To change subject again the Thai is going pretty well. Got new teachers this week and the first day I felt terrible, but I feel alot better for every day. I get to practice talking alot moore, and the writing is just getting more crazy. But It is fun. And I am looking forward to getting better at it.
I acctually had a pretty good conversation with the thai women that works at my favorite massage place. It was really cool to feel I could communicate what they didn't understand in english in Thai. And they where really helpfull, and tried to learn me new words and phrases! Sweethearts. And they tried to make me drunk with Thai whiskey aswell. Haha.

Thanks for reading
Talk to you soon :)

XXX
Johanna

Better late then never!

Yeah so.
I have already been here for like 5 weeks, so I guess I'm a little late starting writing a blog, but hey. Why not?


Well, I guess I can start writing a little bit about everything.
The Place where I stay is called Outback Hostel.

It is this really cozy place on a side street to "The Fighting street" (as I like to call it).
The Fighting street is in the area called Chalong in Phuket. This is a place a load of people come to during high season to train their asses off and get shit faced all the time. At least sometimes thats what it feels like.
There's lots of people that stay here full time thou. That lives here, and trains, maybe even have job and are competetive fighters.
So. The Fighting street has 3 big gyms, Dragon Muay Thai is the smallest one, and is the one where I started 1 year ago, Phuket Top Team, wich is the second biggest one, and is my current training place, and last but not the least Tiger Muay Thai, wich is the biggest motherfucking gym of all. Here is where most people train. They have a loos wheight program and lots of classes and diffrent shit that I am not so very fascinated by.
Anywho.



The Fighting street is therefor full of restaurant with "healthy menys" and proteinshakes and stuff like that. A lot of hostels, pharmacys, 2 small shops, like 200 massageplaces and hotels. Put a map up here so you kind of get the picture of where I am. There's a little dot on the map under the big tiger face, that says Forest bungalows, I live right across that street. Yay!

So. That's that. Oh right. I go to the school in Patong, (wich is also on the map) and I go there by motorbike.
Takes about 30 mins. So its not that bad. But I really didn't want to ride the bike here, but unfortuntly I didn't have a choice since there are no real local traffic and busses here. Wich sucked, but I am pretty good at it now. Helmet on! <3 Promise :)
Atleast I don't think I'm gonna die every second of the ride anymore.

My daily routine looks like this:
Wake up (eat breakfast)
Go to Muay Thai Training or Yoga
Home, shower and freshen up
Call Jimmy, talk for about 40 min
Do homework/go to Patrik and hang by the pool/Go running
Foodtiiiime
Go to school around 14.15
School starts 15.00
Schoool school school
And I'm home again about 19.15
Dinner and then maybe some phonecalls, a movie or meet up with friends

Aaaaaaand repeat. Monday till Friday :)

That will be it for now.

Love <3
Johanna